Change

It’s inevitable, right?  Yesterday as I was hanging my clothes on the line, I was suddenly struck by how much my life has changed.  For one, I was hanging my clothes on a line to dry when there is a perfectly nice, functional dryer right inside.  And inside, just past that dryer, was my line up for the day… making salsa using organic, locally grown produce from our csa, a rice cooker filled with quinoa and millet and amaranth, oh my!, bread to be baked (ok, the bread didn’t happen).  I also have a stack of knitting to finish for the many babies about to make their debuts and too many unfinished (unstarted?) sewing projects to count.  When did my life become so… so quaint?  I sound like I fell out of Little House on the Prairie or something.  Yet, here I sit just outside LA…

As I pondered this, I realized it wasn’t so much my circumstances or life situation or interests that have changed, although they most certainly have, but it’s me… I’ve changed.  I’ve grown into a person my 18 year old or even 22 year old self wouldn’t readily recognize.  What’s more, it’s good.  Change is good.

I remember a few years ago, I believe it was 2005, I was going through a particularly difficult transition and I lamented to my dearest friend, “I don’t want a normal, happy life… I want an adventure.”  We cried together, we prayed together, asking God for more out of life than what we saw around us.  Little did I know what I was asking God for…

Did I expect to start making my own clothes and cleaning products?  Eating as much organic and locally grown as possible?  Baking bread, making my own all natural yogurt and juice?  Is that really part of what God has called me to?  Eh, maybe, maybe not.  But it’s part of who he is growing in this particular clay vessel.  If there’s one thing I learned from my undergrad bio degree it’s that living things grow.  I’ll always have the mental image of my professor loudly proclaiming, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying!”  So as I change, as I grow, expand, learn, become yet another new incarnation of this earthly self, I find evidence of life.  Not my own life… the Life in me.  His life made evidenced in mine.

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