Ever have one of those days… the mere thought of getting out of bed makes you squeeze your eyes shut a little tighter… your idea of “getting dressed” is changing from one over sized t-shirt to another… your diet consists of coffee, cream, and sugar with little else…
Today was one of those days for me. I woke up feeling so unsettled… there is just so much going on, so much weighing on me, so much needed prayer. I was so overwhelmed that my roommate thought I was still asleep even after I’d been awake for a while. I just couldn’t manage to get up. I laid silent and still, calling out to God. It’s amazing how loud my mind can be when my mouth is perfectly silent.
It’s days like today that make me thankful for a loving, patient God. He lets us yell. He lets us question. He lets us express our frustration, anger, confusion. And he loves us. The amazing thing is that he wants us to come to him in all of our humanity. He told us to come boldly. It certainly takes some boldness to go to the God of the universe with a scream instead of a whimper.
Maybe we need these days. Maybe it’s days like this that actually draw us a little closer to our Father. Like a screaming child who is gathered into her father’s lap to be comforted and soothed, maybe we need these hissy-fit days so that God can remind us that he is near. That he is the one to comfort our souls and satisfy our needs.
I’ll never understand our God. I’ll never understand his ways. I’ll never understand why he loves us the way he does. But on days like this, I can know his presence, his nearness, his patience.
And I’m grateful… especially on one of these days.