I’ve been back almost a month and I’ve got to admit… it’s been hard.
I was blessed to have quite a bit of open time when I got back from India. I went home for 3 weeks and I’m currently in Chicago. I’ve had time to rest and recover from jet lag. Time to look at pictures, read through my journals, type up my reports… and yet, it hasn’t been nearly enough time to process everything I saw, felt, learned, experienced.
At times I feel so lost for words. How does one possibly compress a life altering experience into mere words? How does one bring to the surface the things God deposits deep in the heart?
I am an internal processor… I have to work things through in my heart and mind before I can even attempt to bring them out. Often in my life I have felt drawn to Luke 2:19, “But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart.” I can relate to that. God had planted a seed in her life; it came to fruition in the birth of Jesus; people came to her exclaiming over what God had done. Her response was to ponder God’s workings. Sometimes all I can do is ponder.
It amazes me to look back and realize this trip was the result of a seed planted more than 2 years ago. God brought it to fruition and now that I’m back, people have been so excited to hear what God has done. And while I do want to share, right now it seems I can only ponder. I try to talk about it, and sometimes it comes out in a rush, but more often than not, I feel at a complete loss… what do you want to know? Everything? Hmmm…
So if it seems I’ve been reluctant in sharing the details, please don’t take it personally. I’m just pondering. I’m trying to figure it out. I don’t really know how or what to tell you other than our God is amazing. He loves his people. He walks in the dark places of this earth.
When I’m done pondering I’ll fill you in on the rest!