I wrote the following sometime before finals week last quarter but never got around to posting it….
Today I was sitting in the library studying with a friend. I was comfortable in this not so new setting with not so new friends and suddenly felt the distance between Chicago and me…
The physical distance has been evident and at times painful, difficult, unwelcome. But today was different. I didn’t so much feel the physical distance, but had a realization of the emotional distance.
California is where God has called me and placed me for now, but my heart has longed for Chicago, for everything I left behind… family, community, comfort, routine. Today I felt the separation, a distancing, the finality of that chapter. It was a bittersweet moment. Bitter in that what has been one of the best seasons of my life is now over. Sweet in that it provided reasurrance that I am where God has called me.
Maybe one day God will call me back, but for today I am here.
We can’t be so focused on last year’s harvest that we forget to plant this year’s seed; maybe He’s been trying to tell me that for a while… maybe I should listen.