Preface:  From here on I shall refer to the child I watch as “Cupcake”.  Her name starts with C, so I tried to come up with a C word… cod fish… collard green… cornish hen… hmm, why do I always go to food?  Anyway, none of those seem quite right, so Cupcake it is.  Now on to the main event…

“I like your mommy’s pink socks!” says the overly enthusiastic employee of Amy’s Indoor Playground to Cupcake.


“Oh, you’re talking to me.  Umm, thanks,” I say.

“Seriously, she thinks I’m Cupcake’s mommy?”  I think as I put Cupcake’s shoes and cardigan on.  “But, why?  It’s obvious she isn’t mine… she’s Asian and I’m clearly not.  Besides, I’m not old enough for a two year old…”

As we headed outside, I was disturbed by how disturbed I was.  The question really isn’t why would she think I’m her mommy, but why wouldn’t she.  I brought her in my car, with car seat installed.  I pulled money out of my pocket to pay for her admission.  I took off her shoes and cardigan and put them on again when we left.  I took her to the bathroom, gave her a juice box, rescued her from the bounce house…

I was struck by my own biased perceptions of family.  Today interracial marriages are accepted; maybe I just have severly recessive genes.  International adoptions are common, some may even say they are en vogue, thanks to the likes of Brangelina and Madonna.  So it wouldn’t be out of the norm for her to be mine, but because I see the two of us as appearing outside my norm for family, I think it’s absurd someone should mistake me for this child’s mother.  Whoa, I think these classes are starting to kick in…

Then I started thinking about motherhood in general.  I think I could say I love Cupcake.  I’ve only been keeping her a few weeks, but it doesn’t take long for a child to win my heart.  And she really is a doll… cute as a bug, smart, mostly sweet (aren’t all 2 year olds only mostly sweet!), and she always asks me to tell her stories about Jesus when we’re in the car.  I love children, I want to minister to them, and ultimately to find a career working with those who are most vulnerable, but I don’t know that I want to be “Mommy”.  It’s a loaded title.

Who knew an indoor playground could be so thought provoking…


4 thoughts on “Mommy?

  1. Missss Becky,

    I find this one of the most thought provoking entries thus far. Although, you have written many things lately I think for myself and the things I have been pondering lately it hits a personal note for me. Who knew a small 5 letter word could be so thought provoking and might I add a little scary as well.

    Love you and we need to have another chat soon.

  2. Becky, my dear, I can think of no one who would make a better Mommy than you. I say that seriously. From one who has watched you – when you were aware and when you weren’t, one who has listened to you, one who has been with you and experienced many of life’s events with you, basically, from one who genuinely knows you…I can say that with undeniable certainty.

    I will say, though, that I was a bit surprised at some of your commentary. I remember very well the many times you talked about one day adopting a child from every continent, the names you would give them (Bob, Xavier!!!), and what an international family you would have. I also remember John-Paul’s reactions to your plans for such a family! Were your statements/plans at that time just made in jest, or is it that now that you are older and wiser, that reality has forced you to take a deeper look into such families? I have always been proud of the way you grew up to be ‘color blind’ when it came to your friends. Race, ethnicity, background or culture never seemed to matter to you. From your earliest days, your friends have been african-american, hispanic, asian…and even an occasional american redneck thrown in for good measure!

    Families come in all shapes and sizes. And while it’s true that families are made of flesh and blood, families are first of all made in the heart. Always keep your ‘color blind’ mentality when it comes to loving people as Jesus would have you love them. And I can guarantee you one thing. If at some time in your future, you find yourself the Mommy of a beautiful little asian girl, and someone asks if you are her Mommy, you will not hesitate, but will very proudly state that “Yes, I’m her Mommy!”

    Cupcake is a very fortunate little girl to have you in her life! And I am very, very blessed to have you in mine. I love you!


    1. I think it’s just different in theory than in practice. I still would love to have a multicultural family… I think! But for someone (okay, several someones by now) to think a child that isn’t mine is, it just seemed so obvious to me that she isn’t. I guess the fact that people are mistaking me for her mother is a good sign; we must interact well.

      And I, too, am very fortunate to have you!

  3. Burdellie! What a beautiful post…thank you. I miss you so much when I read through these 🙂 You truly are a wonderful writer and I could read your thoughts all day. But seriously, this one struck a special place in my heart, for multiple reasons. Love you sister 🙂

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