Our Great, Big God

There are no two ways around it… this transition has been difficult.  Granted, I’ve been here less than 2 weeks, but I never imagined I would have such a hard time when I came out here.  I’ve known from the beginning that this was only happening by the hand of God; I certainly wouldn’t put myself in seminary by my own design!  So, why should this be difficult, if I know I’m in the center of God’s will and settled nicely in the protective palm of his hand?  Because I am in the center of his will and protected in the palm of his hand, is why!  I know my purpose and I’m making steps toward it and that frightens the enemy.  From the moment we started loading the truck, I’ve been bombarded with doubts and fears.  I have sat in my apartment staring at boxes wondering how and why I ended up here.  It’s hard to unpack when you are struggling with being here in the first place.  I have craved true, spiritual fellowship but not known where to find it. 

And just as I start to slide, to lose my grip on my faith and purpose, God swoops in to remind me where I am, not Pasadena or Fuller Seminary… He reminds me that I am in HIS hands. 

An email that simply says “I’m praying for you today” but gives such strength.

Lunch with a new friend who brings encouragement to keep going.

Meeting someone with connections to my past who brings refreshment to a heavy day.

A sermon preached months ago but intended for today.

The past few days I’ve been captivated by the song Healer:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me
Jesus You’re all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

He holds my world in his hands… He’s a great, big God who looks down on this tiny speck of his masterful creation.  And he loves, he cares, he provides.  I remember looking out the window of the plane as I flew over the vast land of India and wondering how he does it.  How does he see each one and know each one and create intimacy with each one individually?  He’s a great, big God is all I can say.  And he has been showing his care for me repeatedly these last few days in such tangible ways.

Help me remember that you are my portion… you are more than enough for me… you are all I need…

Help me remember you are a great, big God.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Our Great, Big God

  1. You know I wish I could calm your fears and soothe you doubts. I wish I could cradle you in my strong arms and tell you, “Daddy will work it put for you. Don’t worry, it will be ok!” But all I can do is pray. Pray for my little one to understand that God will never lead her where the grace of God cannot keep her! I love you today, as every other day and I have said many prayers for you.
    I love you – Daddy

  2. Oh, Becky. I know all too well how you feel right now. I wish I were there in the apartment with you! I feel terrible that I left when you needed a friend the most! But, you are leaning on the Lord, which is so much better than leaning on a sinner like me! Praying for you girl!

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