30

Thirty is a milestone.  Three decades.  If you were furniture or a car, you would be considered vintage.  I’m just grateful that for most of that 30 years, you’ve been my big brother.  So, in honor of your birthday, a few of my favorite memories of us…

• That time I bloodied your nose.
• That time you buried me in pine straw under the tree in the backyard cause you were afraid I would get cold waiting for Mama and Daddy.
• Every time you pushed me up into a tree or over a fence since I never learned to do it myself.
• That time you and Justin reluctantly agreed to let me go with you to the Big Ditch and then I got tangled up in the barbed wire and ended up dangling upside down by my ankle and you had to go get Mama and then you got in trouble cause we were definitely not supposed to go to the Big Ditch.
• That time we built the fabulous fort in the backyard.
• That Christmas we bought Mama that rug and you creatively wrapped it.
• Playing “TL Lowery” and perfecting our helicopter/chicken bop/two-step.
• That time I convinced you to be my tee so I could practice my hitting.  I only wanted to be as good a baseball player as you were.
• That time you saw me sneak into the library during lunch and followed me in.  I told you I had a test to study for but really just didn’t have anyone to sit with.  You didn’t call me on my lie, but you probably knew cause you sat with me until you had to go to class.
• Every time you’ve ever made me laugh til I cry or cry til I laugh.

In case you didn’t know, I love you.  You’ve always been one of my favorite people.  I’m proud to call you my brother.  Happy Birthday.

By the way, I hear 30 is the new 20…

Update

So my last post was primarily random nonsense, although perhaps enlightening for some. However, I figured I should post a real update.  I think my last post before my birthday list mentioned that I was preparing to move again… well, I have moved.  I’m currently typing this from my parents’ home in Cleveland, TN.  I finished classes at Fuller the last week of July and my mother and I drove from California to Tennessee the next week.

So now, here I sit.  Things didn’t quite turn out as expected once I got back (if you really want to know, you can ask), but everything is working out well, I think.  I’m currently enrolled as an MDiv student at the Pentecostal Theological Seminary.  Shocking and unexpected, I know!  Between classes and work, I’m trying to figure out the next step.  There are a couple potential opportunities, with India and Thailand being at the front of the line.  So, you can pray with me about that.

Other than school, work, and figuring out the meaning of life, I spend as much time as I can with this entirely kissable, squishable, adorable little person…

 Lucky to be home!

28

I decided my birthday would be a good time to return to the blog.  In recognition of my 28th year, I thought I would post 28 things you may or may not know about me. It has taken me 2 full days to think of these, the reason I’m posting the day after my birthday instead of on my birthday.  Oh well, on with the list…

1. My favorite color is blue.
2. I recently developed a love of kale.
3. I’m a ridiculous procrastinator.
4. I like making things by hand, particularly baking bread, knitting, and sewing. My next goal is to learn to quilt.
5. I have cracked my knuckles since I was a kid and have tried at least once a year to quit. Apparently, I even crack them while I sleep.
6. I am always deeply affected by celebrity divorces. To a ridiculous, irrational level. I will think about it for weeks.  Seriously, I think I need help.
7. When I was a kid my dream was to be an Olympic synchronized swimmer.  I would make up routines, which I would perform in our backyard pool while I sang the accompanying music.  I’m hopeful the incriminating videos were destroyed in my parents’ house fire.
8. For the life of me, I cannot figure out how to make Rice Crispy treats.  According to the most recent Rice Crispy commercials, this ineptitude will make me a bad mother.
9. I’m a reluctant, semi-closeted Twilight fan. I blame this on my last housemate and my sister-in-law. I had never even heard of Twilight until just before the third movie came out last summer, then managed to see all three movies and read all four books in less than two weeks.  And I will be seeing the next two movies.  Shameful.
10. It’s quite possible that I am addicted to filing my fingernails.
11. I am definitely addicted to coffee and sweet tea.
12. My favorite movies are: Pretty Woman, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Pride and Prejudice, and The Godfather Trilogy.  I will stop whatever I’m doing if I realize any of them is on tv.  Even if it’s only the last 5 minutes.
13. Despite years of trying, I have never learned to do a cartwheel.
14. I love to cook and bake bread (and do a pretty decent job) but cannot bake sweets – cakes, cupcakes, and the like. They always turn out ugly and not especially tasty.  Unlike my bread, which is generally fabulous.
15. I didn’t like avocados until I moved to California, now I love them.
16. I have a twitter account that I’ve never used. I think my blog is attached to it and maybe I automatically tweet when I post a blog, but other than that I have no idea how to use it.
17. I cannot whistle like a normal human being, but have my own special method of “whistling.”  The Godfather theme is my favorite song to “whistle.”
18. I love scarves. I’d wear them every single day if I could.
19. I found my first gray hair this year and took a picture of it (after removing it from my head, of course). I’m weird.
20. One day, I will get a tattoo.  I have the design, I’m just waiting to discover the perfect location.  Thus far, the decision on where to put it has alluded me.
21. My car has a name (Rolonda the Honda) and a motto (Roll on Rolonda).
22. I want to live in a houseboat in Sausalito.
23. I used to play the piano pretty well. I wish I still did.
24. I stopped using shampoo about 5 years ago. Now I don’t use any chemicals on my hair or face (except mascara).
25. I have said for many years that when I grow up I want to live in a house with dirt floors so I never have to mop or vacuum.  I’m still holding out hope.
26. I have an irrational fear that when I kill a bug/spider/creepy-crawly, it’s family senses its death, either by their natural heightened buggy senses or some buggy sixth sense, and they will come together in a buggy army to avenge the death of their buggy brethren.  I literally can’t sleep at night after I kill bugs, for fear they will come get me.  No, I am not psychotic, I just have a very active imagination that sometimes gets a little carried away.
27. I love Top Chef and Project Runway and wish I was skilled enough in either area to be on the show.  And I totally have a celebrity crush on Tom Colicchio.
28. I truly think I should be vegetarian and maybe even vegan (but probably not).  It’s just such a difficult goal for a good southern girl like me.

Okay, so 28 random things about me to celebrate my 28th year.  The end.

A Patchwork Quilt

I’m moving.

Again.

Soon.

Like less than a week soon.

And today I realized… my life is a patchwork quilt.

In the 10 years since I left home, my life has included 15 roommates, 6 churches, 3 states, 4 countries, 1 grad school, 2 jobs and more friends, acquaintances, and random encounters than I ever could have anticipated.

Every single one of those people and experiences left a mark on my life, patches of different sizes, shapes, patterns, and colors.  Some patches are sewn tightly together with the surrounding patches, creating a distinct shape that draws the eye.  Other patches seem disparate and disjointed from the rest but still make their presence known.  There are common threads and themes running throughout, creating calm and stability in the chaotic places.

If you look at my patchwork quilt, two things are clear.  One, it tells a story.  You can see how I got where I am and maybe see a little of where I’m going.  Two, it is incomplete.  There are places that need mending and the edges are unfinished, so more patches can be added.

This is my life… a piece of patchwork carefully designed by the master designer.  Thank you for giving of yourselves to help my patchwork take shape.  For offering pieces of the fabric of your own life to make mine a little bigger.  For stitching up my holes and snipping my frayed ends.

It is a beautifully frustrating thing to be a work in progress.  But as I look over the many pieces that make up my life, I am excited to see what comes next.  Only time will tell how this little patchwork quilt will expand and take shape.

image taken from http://carterquilter.wordpress.com/tag/patchwork/

My New Toy!

Do you remember this post?  Well, I got me one!  It was part of a graduation present from my parents.  I have to say… I LOVE IT!!!  It came just as I was walking out the door to go work on a paper.  Talk about terrible timing!  You would’ve been very impressed by the measure of self-discipline I exercised though, had you been here to witness it.  I brought it in the house, opened it, looked at it…. and put it back.  Didn’t even take it all the way out of the box.  Taking it out and playing with it was my reward for finishing the paper (which I did and got 5/5 on, btw!)

I’ve played with it several times in the past week-ish since it came. It really is a fabulous little thing.  And super easy to use, which is key for my non-tech savvy self.

Enough with the words… Pictures!  These are my first few attempts, so they aren’t perfect and the pictures aren’t great.  But really, anything baby-sized is cute, right?!

Froggy onesie and burp cloth… ribbit

Fishy onesie and burp cloth…

Little baby necktie?  Yes, please!

I’ve got a lot more experimenting lined up, but kinda gotta finish school first.  You see, they let us act like we graduated even though we didn’t… yet.  But as soon as I’m done with these last three classes… it’s on!

Dear Blog,

I’m sorry.  I’ve done it again, haven’t I?  This on-again-off-again relationship we have must be killing you, especially when I’m the one with all the control.  I don’t know what to say, except… I’m sorry.

To make matters worse, while we’ve been off-again, I’ve been seeing other blogs.  Yes, more than one.  I know.  I’m awful.  Actually, these other blogs might’ve, maybe, perhaps, a little bit contributed to my off-again behavior.  Again, I’m sorry.

But, they are also what pushed me back to you.  Seeing all their fancy pages and regular posts made me miss you.  Will you have me back?  Can we pick up where we left off?  Of course not.  That’s silly of me to even ask… can we pick up from where we are now?

I can’t promise you that I won’t abandon you again at some point in the future.  It’s actually quite likely that I will… only time will tell.

Your on-again-off-again blogger,

Becky

Would you like to meet a few of the new blogs I’ve met?  I thought so…

Crafterhours

Homemade by Jill

Miss Print

Craftiness is not Optional

Obsessively Stitching

Noodlehead

Elemental Stitches

Yarn Harlot

So, I might be on a bit of a crafty kick… more on that soon.

Abandoner

I am an abandoner…

Sorry

I’m sure I’ll return soon(ish).

Sigh

I should’ve saved this post for today.  Lord knows I need a happy place right about now.  When I posted those pictures a couple days ago, I thought I was having a really stressful day, seeing as I had a pretty difficult case study hanging over my head.  Today, however, I neared breakdown stage.  From the time my alarm went off, everything has gone seriously wrong or plain old bad or just downright irritating.

But I guess it’s the I-just-want-to-cry-myself-back-to-bed days that teach us to appreciate the I-can-make-it days and the Woo-hoo-life-is-great days.

So now I sit in the library researching the Children’s Crusade of 1212.  Things are looking up, or at least interesting.  I know I can make it til bed time.  And tomorrow is a new day.  And his mercies are new every morning.

I can do this.

Happy Place

Some days you just have to find your happy place.  I thought I’d share some of mine with you…

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What have I done?!

Ten days…

It’s been ten days since I’ve had any of the following:

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Has the world come to an end yet?!?!

On May 1, I began a vegan challenge.  One month, no animal products (except honey – I don’t consider bugs animals).  So far, it really hasn’t been too bad.  I might actually go so far as to say it’s been pretty good.

People keep asking me why I decided to do this.  What in the world would make a person take on a challenge like this, especially if it’s not intended to be a long-term switch to veganism?

Honestly, I don’t really have an answer.  I like a challenge.  This seemed like a good one.  But seriously, don’t I have enough challenges as I wrap up my masters program?

Maybe part of me is bored.  Maybe I just need something new.  Maybe I lost my mind.

Whatever the case, I’m one third of the way into this challenge.  If you’re interested, you can follow the rest of the challenge over here!

My Mama

Last week I wrote about my Daddy and since today is Mother’s Day, I figured I’d do a little post about my Mama.

While I’m like my Daddy in a lot of ways, I carry Debbie around with me everywhere I go.

I see her eyes when I look in the mirror…

But she also taught me how to look through those eyes.  To see beauty in the world.  To love those I see.  To know that God’s glory and blessings are everywhere.

When I’m worn out and just don’t wanna anymore, I feel her strength deep inside me…

(I’m not really sure why I thought our feet would be appropriate here…)

My Mama probably would deny it, but she has a fierce strength.  I think back to the time when my Daddy was sick and honestly, my memories are good, happy.  In the midst of certain tragedy and trauma, she held us together with her determined faith, constant prayers and overwhelming love.  John-Paul and I came out of that chapter of our family’s life relatively unscathed because of God’s grace and the gifts he has given our mother – strength, faith, love.  And fortunately for me, she passed those down, too.

And probably most importantly, I hear her voice in my head.

When I’m uncertain about a decision, I hear her… “when in doubt, don’t.”  When I can’t understand or see God’s answer, I hear her… “God always answers… sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes wait.”  Every single time I sit at a traffic light I hear her… “Red means no, green means go.”  (That little phrase has far more applications than one would think!)  When I’m scared or nervous or just in really bad traffic, I hear her simple prayer, “JesusJesusJesus.”  When I’m questioning where my life is going, I hear her quote her favorite verse, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord…”  When I’m really tired and maybe a little lonely, I lay in my bed and hear her singing… “We love you Becky, oh yes we do.  We love you Becky, there’s none like you.  When you’re not near us, we’re blue.  Oh Becky, we love you.”

This is just to say… I love you Mama, oh yes I do.

So the most important one might actually be this last one…

I inherited her love of Rod Stewart.

Please excuse our bedraggled state.  This was taken just after the concert. 

I <3 him.  So much.  Almost as much as I love my Mama.  

Grad School Lessons: Part 3

And a few more…

1. No matter how much you love coffee, it cannot be your only source of nutrition.  The four food groups are not:  hot coffee, iced coffee, latte, and espresso.  This will end badly.
2. Your gut reactions and instinctual responses are not necessarily wrong, but they don’t necessarily reflect Truth, either.  We need to understand that we are a product of our culture and environment, good or bad.  It’s okay to have those gut reactions, but it’s important to reflect on those for what it says about us and what the Bible says in response.  And sometimes, we need to hold those responses long enough to evaluate them and not just spout out nonsense.  Nonsense can be hurtful… it can also make you look like a moron.
3. Don’t be so busy that you neglect the wonderful experiences and opportunities around you.  Remember, you will never be here again in the exact same way.
4. Likewise, you can never go back in time.  You may want to return to some part of your past, some time or place that seems so right, or easy, or beautiful in retrospect, but even if you go back, it won’t be the same place it was when you left.  You must continue moving forward.
5. God really is bigger than the boogie man, especially when the boogie man takes the form of an obscenely large research paper.

My Daddy

Saturday night I called and chatted with my Daddy for a bit.  And yes, I still call him “Daddy”… I’m from the South, so deal with it!  My Mama is on what I assume to be her first ever solo vacation, a ladies’ cruise with the church.  So, I called my Daddy on my way home from the store under the pretense of checking up on him since Mama’s gone, but really I just realized it had been a while since I talked to him.  I missed my Daddy.

As I was talking to him, I was reminded of how much I love my family and how truly blessed I am.  This quarter has been difficult and frustrating for me.  I think the underlying stress of graduating is getting to me.  And my Daddy, well, he talked me down like only he can.  He’s been there before, so he knows the pressures of seminary, but more than that, he knows me in a way no one else does.  For one thing, we’re hand twins.  Joey and the guy from the casino got nothing on me and my Daddy, except well, mine are slightly smaller and I keep my nails a little longer.  But he’s given me so much more than that… my Mama has said before that I got my smarts from him and he did manage to get me to seminary.  He understands my heart for people and mission and ministry, and not just the straight forward kinds of ministry.  He’ll debate with me even when I have no idea what I’m talking about, but think I do.  His first question when I’m facing a big decision is always “Have you fasted and prayed about it?”  So I’ve learned to fast and pray, just like I’ve known him and my Mama to do all my life.  He’s always believed in me, always pushed me but still held on tight.  You know that Tim McGraw song My Little Girl?  The chorus say “Chase your dreams but always know the road that’ll lead you home again.”  That’s my Daddy.  He lets me go wherever the Lord and the wind might lead, but he always makes sure I know how to get back home.  That song makes me cry every blasted time it comes on, by the way.  We almost lost him when I was a little girl.  I tried once to imagine what my life would’ve been like if my Daddy had died when I was just seven.  I ended up crying on the sidewalk… a life without him is unimaginable.

Love you, Daddy

I want this…

What is it, you ask?  Well, my friends… this is a Silhouette SD cutting machine.  According to the website, “The Silhouette SD is an electronic cutting tool that connects to your computer allowing you to cut fonts and images in cardstock, vinyl, heat transfer material, etc”

Now, those of you who know me well, know that I generally run as fast as I can in the opposite direction when it comes to all things scrapbooking, so why would I ever want a machine like this?  Because it can do this…

found here

And this…

found here

 

These…

found here

And, oh my, this…

found here

 

I want… I need… My crafting may never be the same!

Seriously, my least favorite part of working with fabric is quite possibly the cutting (probably because I do such a poor job with it.)  This handy dandy little doo-dad could solve all my fabric cutting problems!

All right now… Who wants to offer missionary support in the form of a Silhouette SD?  I’ll make you something!

Beautiful Body

I spent this past weekend trying to balance my academic obligations with the pull I felt to dive headfirst into the spiritual.  After all, it was Easter weekend, the pinnacle of the Christian faith.  Saturday night I attended the Vigil for the Resurrection, followed by the celebration service at Saint Anthony’s Greek Orthodox Church.  It’s been so many months since I attended a service there and again, I was overwhelmed by the beauty and the peace that surrounded me as I listened to the chanting and meditated on the iconography.  At the end of the vigil, just before midnight, they turn off all the lights.  The priest brings out a single candle and slowly they begin passing the light.  (Note to self:  next time, have a candle.)  Soon, the sanctuary is illuminated by hundreds of flickering candles, while the choir sings Christos Anesti…

Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and to those in the tombs, granting life.

I spent Sunday morning at my church here in Azusa, Foothill Church.  I lifted my hands in grateful adoration as we sang of Christ’s forgiveness and sacrifice.  Pastor Chris shared a beautiful message.  I was surrounded by love and fellowship and coffee.  Then I went to the nursery and spent the next two services with a roomful of toddlers… We read books.  We smelled flowers.  I got snotted on and and cried on and pooped on.  We banged tambourines and sang Jesus Loves Me...

Jesus loves me, this I know.  For the Bible tells me so.  Little ones to him belong.  They are weak, but he is strong. 

Even though the services were so starkly different, I was amazed by the beauty and meaning in each one.  Though we, as humans, may be restricted by our preferences, our taste, our habits or traditions, the Spirit of God surpasses all and encompasses all.  God is as present in the priest’s chanted liturgy as he is in the toddler’s tambourine shake.  The warmth of the Spirit is evident in both the flickering flame and the strum of the guitar.

As we celebrated and commemorated the bodily resurrection of the Christ, I was captivated by the beauty of his body here on earth.  We have the ability to express ourselves in so many ways in order to show that truly we are his hands and feet resurrected, brought up from the ashes and the grave to reach out to a doubting, hurting world.

Come, feel my scars.  See my pain.  But know that I have been resurrected through the resurrected life of my Savior.  I have been given new life here on earth.

Because Jesus loves me, he arose from the dead to grant me life.

Jesus and some other folks staring down at me from the center of the dome.